1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Take responsibility that what you are experiencing/perceiving is your creation. "I did it". You created it - no one else "did it" to you. You are not a victim. The Self has created it, so that you can find the pearl of Wisdom within this experience. To find this wisdom, notice how you feel about the situation. (You may have actually co-created it with others - each for their own reasons.)

2. ALIGN THE JUDGMENT
Align the judgment about yourself, about the situation, and about the others involved. When you blame and judge, you are not taking responsibility for what you are experiencing. Realize, acknowledge, and "own" the fact that you have a judgment about this experience. You may even have a judgment about the judgment. Everything that exists is an expression of Divinity - even your judgment. So, your judgment is valid. Acknowledge and bless your judgment and bless the entire situation.

3.EMBRACE, ALLOW, ACCEPT, SURRENDER.
Embrace, allow, accept, and surrender to the situation, your judgment, & your feelings. Just as you would embrace a crying hurting child, embrace the entire experience and pull it to you, rather than pushing it away. Embrace it into the God-Light that you are. As you embrace it into the God-Light that you are, the resistance to feeling (pain) dissolves in the Light. Bless those people involved in your drama. Be thankful for this experience, because of the wisdom-potential in it.

4. FEEL THE FEELING. Set aside your thinking and your intellect, and just let yourself totally FEEL the feeling. Rather than escaping from the pain, embrace and feel the feeling. (Transmutation does not occur if you try to escape the pain.)

Judgment ---> Wanting to avoid Feeling ---> Resistance to Feeling (like "claws" in solar plexus" holding the energies in place) ---> Feelings immobilized (stuck) in Solar Plexus ---> Pain + separation. (Pain is resistance to feeling.)

Allowing + Accepting + Surrender ---> Feelings flowing from Solar Plexus to Heart to Crown Chakra ---> Oneness + non-separation ---> Ecstasy.

Surrender = to join forces, thereby causing oneness & non-separation.
Surrender = to acknowledge & accept who you really are. To surrender into who you really are automatically creates alignment and balance. "Surrender" here does not mean surrender to others, but to the real you.
Vulnerability = non-separation.

There is no other cause of pain than judgment. To release the pain, you have to nullify (align) the judgment. When the judgment is aligned, the claws of resistance (resistance to feeling), which you experience as pain, are dissolved into your own Light. This leaves you with what is now neutral energy in the Solar Plexus, which is now free to move up to the Heart, and then to the Crown chakra. This produces oneness and non-separation, which produces ecstasy.

Allowance is not a doing, but a non-doing (surrender). No matter what it is, if it exists, it is an expression of Divinity ... so Allow it! Embrace it into your own God-Light!