this is Maithuna, the meditation of sex.
Maithuna is the Sanskrit word for union. Maithuna is yogic sexual union. It means, act or
instance of uniting two or more things into one state of being or, a spiritual uniting in
order to bring about concord.
This is the unity of creating one from two, an escape
from the duality system in which we live. Surrounded by a society that teaches us
the convoluted platitudes and attitudes of t.v. soap operas and of advertising in a sort
of perpetual adolescence of spirit, we unlearn the sexual ecstasy that is our birthright.
Sex is available to almost every adult. It cannot be
made illegal, (although laws in different places including the United States have
circumscribed the kind of sex that is legal and given bitter punishment or even death for
those who transgress the "law")
Sexual voyaging should take us on journeys to
incredible spaces of consciousness and union with many levels of infinite reality, but
that takes unlearning much of what religion has promulgated and our parents, in their
ignorance, passed on to us.
Making love is a way of getting high,
perhaps ultimately the only way.
We make love when we walk down the street
and smile at an old person;
we make love when we pet an animal.
In all of our daily inter-relating with people and with things,
we either create more love
or break down the love that exists.
Sexual intercourse is one form of making love.
(The following instructions use heterosexual terminology; their
content, though, is valid for the coming together of yin and yang however it manifests.)
Unfortunately many of us are so separated from our bodies that we wear
uncomfortable clothing, over-eat, smoke tobacco and use the missionary
position in sexual intercourse. This position in which the man is on top of the
woman, makes it very difficult for her to adequately respond.
Since a womans body is slower to arousal than a mans
(it is said to take at least eighteen minutes before real union can start to occur), it is
necessary for the woman to influence the timing during intercourse if the
partners are to become one with each other. This necessitates a real ego-loss from
both partners since our society has taught the man to lead and the woman to be passive.
Even more damaging to a spiritually conscious sex life is the myth that
orgasm is the summit of sexual experience. Maithuna may lead to experiences that
make orgasm seem pallid by comparison, to the place of original creation where the earth
emerges, cells multiply, life evolves in its many facets.
The feeling that orgasm is necessary can be an anchor grounding the
personality. If the man does not come to climax, his emotional reaction may make it
difficult for him to let go of his personality. On the other hand, if the woman is
using fantasy or play acting to stimulate her body into rapid response, she loses
touch with her partner. It isnt bad to do any of that. But
prolonged moments of such separation make the most ecstatic levels of love-making
impossible to achieve.
So, rule number one: it is of primary importance that orgasm is not the
most important end to this union. Somebody, perhaps Alan Watts, said that orgasm is a
delightful punctuation in the act of making love.
The second rule: the woman must be chiefly responsible for timing the
sexual act. She will slow things down if she feels it is too fast and suggest the next
move physically or verbally. To do this she needs to lose ego, to be very
aware, at least in the beginning, of her own body and what responses it is giving.
Telepathic communication grows through truth-telling.
Rule three; The two partners must agree to tell the truth to each other at all times.
Truth, in this case, is what you are feeling or where your thoughts go. Remain centered on
The Star of David is a diagram of the maithuna position of love making. The partners
are facing each other, the man sitting with his legs crossed, the woman sitting on him
with her legs around him. In this position there can be no higher or lower, no first
and second, no beginning and no end.
Maithuna, sometimes called Kerraza or Dianism in the West or Yab-Yum in Tibet, takes time;
it is a true meditation. So pick an unpressured day or evening. To touch the aeons
takes a feeling of unfettered leisure.
Start slowly. Take a bath together. Throw rose petals in the bath water; light
candles and incense so that the bathing place itself becomes an altar.
Look each other deep in the eyes until faces shift and thoughts fade. Tell each
other how much you care. Now is the safe time to let go of anything held back, any
untruths, fears, equivocations. Touch softly on the face, the shoulders, the hair.
After your bath dry each other with soft towels and rub yourselves with sacred scents,
perhaps with amber in pure oil.
Lie down in front of a fire or on a bed with soft blankets, and massage each other
with long, slow movements of hands and arm. Push your hands slowly up each others
backs about an inch on each side of the spine, from the sacroiliac, sacred space of
energy, to the base of the neck where we gather such tension during the course of our
daily wanderings. Breathe deeply. As you massage each other, be aware of the moment.
Your world right now is that spot where fingers meet back. Concentrate on it. Where
flesh touches flesh, you two are already coming together in a sacred space.
When you are ready, sit up comfortably and face each other. Your legs can be crossed
if you are at ease that way, or you can prop yourselves against pillows or even in a very
large chair. If you use consciousness expanding sacraments, now is a good time to
partake of them.
Breathe deeply, look into each others eyes again, and see each other as divine.
Behold god and goddess existing beyond your bodies and yet in them, beyond your
personalities and yet acting through them. Be conscious. As you gaze, your
partners face will shift and change, fade and become brilliant. Like a Picasso
portrait, you may see simultaneous faces, one imprinted on the other.
Deepening your meditation as you look at each other third eye to third eye, you may see
that third eye actually manifesting on the flesh between and just above the eyebrows.
If you need to pull your attention away, stop and discuss that need, what you were
thinking about and why. In your growing telepathic sensitivity, there is nothing to
be ashamed of, and there is everything to share. The inner core of you has been
waiting so long, lifetimes perhaps, for this very moment of intimacy.
This eye meditation is so powerful that you may just want to practice this yoga for
several days without having union on any other level. The longer you practice it,
the closer you will get, and the higher genital union will be when you finally come to it.
Maithuna is the art of vibrational rather than frictional sex. You may move in The
Great Dance, but not until your bodies tell you that it is time. Until then sit quietly
looking into each others eyes. Expect nothing. Make no demands. Just as
waves of sound move together in resonance or discord, if the vibrations are not integrated
and in harmony between you and your partner, true union is impossible to achieve yet.
Have a soft light; you dont want to make love in the dark but to enhance the
senses, to dilate every avenue of sight, sound, smell with the wonder of each other.
This is a meditation in concentration.
This is a visualization, not in the mind, but in the flesh. The Goddess or God is
sitting before you as vulnerable and open to love as you are. It wears the face and
form of your Loved One. Take as much time as you need to appreciate and truly feel
each other as Deity. This gift and wonder is given those who truly yearn to find the
cosmic love that irradiates everything on all levels of reality.
After a space of time, however long or short it may be, you will want to touch each other,
to feel the warm of flesh. Fingers gently move in unison, dance together in the air
in a lingering caress that neither leads nor is led but is a simple knowing of each other.
You touch on shoulders, face, on breasts. You may lose consciousness of which are fingers
and which is the receiving skin as your two bodies slowly become one body caressing
Dont try to hold on to anything. Rise and fall on the varied levels of awareness.
You may feel humor, happiness, sadness or even journey beyond any feeling, lost in the
dance of sweet flesh touching flesh.
Eventually you will want to be closer. It might be hours or seem like days, but
since you are traveling in and out of time with no destination in mind, it doesnt
really matter. At last the need for closer contact develops. And then the shakti,
divine female energy, sits on the mans crossed legs. Bodies come close together in a
sweet glow of soma. Intuitive. Knowing almost without words where and how to
move but using gentle words when they come. Feeling. Becoming One as centuries wheel
and time collapses on itself.
If you separate sometimes and become two again, thats fine. Go back to looking
in each others eyes. When you know that the time is right, your bodies will
come together even more intimately. The shakti will put her legs around the
mans waist, and his penis will penetrate her. Keep your bodies quiet. There is
no need for for anything further to happen, no goals. Just a very slow pulsation of
energy. You are secure together.
Your vision becomes
even more surreal.
You are the Tibetan deities locked in an embrace that ends duality.
Eventually there is only the blooming of the genitals,
boundary lines disappearing, no penis, no vagina.
There is only the fiery stillpoint of creation.
There may be the history of the world,
the slow slide of crystalline mud,
thunderstorms raging over desolate landscapes,
dinosaurs roaring in wild freedom.
Or nebulae wheeling through great heavens.
Or goddess stepping forth to caress you
with the blessing of fearlessness.
It may become the quietness before creation that builds strange planets of tender
sweetness. The movement begins; that one magnificent energy tightens and relaxes,
feels itself, knows ecstasy.
Although you are merged, you are yourselves also, and the woman knows when to relax.
The man knows when to pull back a moment.
This is a meditation of self-control that aims at losing self and finding it again, the
cosmic game of hide and seek that we all play in our own ways.
It is possible to stop and start over again many times. You may want to even separate,
feed each other, talk, and return yet once again to sexual union.
You can sit, melded in embrace, for many hours experiencing almost infinite levels of
being. When the time comes, there will not be two of you any more. There is only a
shared awareness of the movement of molecules, of being yourselves in the body of Source,
of being Source itself.
Sometime an explosion permeates every atom of your consciousness until there is not even
one of you any more. You have become the universe together in the very core of your being.
This is the summation of Maithuna,
sometimes called Tantric Sex.
This is the experience that makes orgasm
look like the little death it is often called.
This is a Big Death, an overwhelming death, a
death that vibrates in its aliveness, a joyous death,
a wonderfilled adventure through time and space.
It is a surrender of personality and individuality to
that essence that underlies and fills every thing and non-thing.
You rest in serenity, knowing that you are beautiful
and that your beloved is beautiful and that all of creation is very beautiful.
Dont be disappointed if all this does not happen the first time you try it. Be
patient with yourself and your lover. That very patience and surrender to what is
will help you to grow, understand and succeed. Familiarity with sexual self-control may
take time. Most yogic practices do. In India, where reincarnation is real and the separate
soul, which is the monad, learns and grows from one incarnation to the next, time is of
To experience the truly ecstatic states
of Maithuna, time must be your servant.
May this little meditation help you and all sentient beings.
I would like to point you to
Carla, a very knowledgeable Tantra Teacher and Workshop Facilitator. Below
is her web address and a little of what she offers.
I offer private
love-coaching sessions and group workshops in New York, Maui, and
California, using authentic Tantra rituals, Tantric massage, and Tantric
Kama Sutra yoga techniques to greatly enhance people's sexual experience and
bring about sexual healing. Tantra enhances self-esteem and helps people to
become conscious and fabulous lovers who love themselves and others on all
levels--physical, emotional and spiritual. Tantric lovemaking is a
meditation in motion--a dance of autonomy and merging, taking those who
practice it to the highest spiritual realms. Please visit me at
Tantra New York